Tales of My Insanity
by NoelleLaBelle
Summary: This will probably turn into a series of little stories that I make in my madness, but they should prove to be rather humorous.
1. Default Chapter

_This is a weird one shot that was made due to either my odd wit returning, or head trauma after bashing into a friend during a boring class., Long story short, her head was falling toward her desk, mine falling back from my desk and we had ourselves a nice little collision with our skulls. So, later on after I created a little doll on my computer of Erik and Christine, I stated that she had found some brains and made the right choice. My dear twin asked me if she would have been at least smart enough to put it in, and this little piece came out it._

It was an evening winter day like any other, Christine was humming no particular tune to herself while Erik worked on his next brilliant composition, when all of a sudden Christine let out a small squeal and ran to Erik.

"Erik! what is that pinkish thing over there?"

Erik looked to where she was pointing and found her discovery to be rather interesting. How could something like that just end up in his lair in perfect condition?

"Why that's... it's a brain."

Christine made a squeal even louder than her first, much to the dismay of Erik's sensitive hearing.

"Ooh! Should I give it a treat? Do you think it would like a biscuit?" And without any answer she ran to the cupboard and took out a box of crackers, then she gingerly walked up and held one out to the creature.

Erik made a small groan and lifted slowly from his bench. Bending down to get a better look at the brain, he figured it must have come from the torture chamber, perhaps one of his victims skulls had cracked and it had stayed fresh from the coolness of the lake.

A sudden idea occurred to Erik.

"Christine, how about you go lie down for a bit, I'm certain you'll feel MUCH better after a nap."

"AW! But Erik! I want to pet it!" she said while now holding three crackers inches away from it.

Erik not wanting his only hope to be destroyed by crumbs he swiftly picked Christine up and carried her to the bed.

"I promise you if you take a nap I'll make sure you and the...um, creature are never parted again, does that sound all right to you?"

She giggled and made more squeals.

"Ok, you promise I'll always have it?" she asked even though she had already agreed.

"Believe me, my dear, I would prefer it no other way..."

A few hours later Christine awoke with a small yawn, she opened her eyes very slothlike to find Erik staring at her very intently.

"Feeling all right, my dear?" he asked as he kneeled down on the floor to be closer to her face, examining her every reaction.

_'please say it worked' _he silently prayed to himself.

"I feel fine, I have a slight headache though, would you happen to have any medication?" she asked while looking at him a bit groggily.

"I'm not sure, I can go check..."

_Well, her speech seems a bit better structured, at least._

"Or, oh! What about that book of yours on herbs and such? Perhaps we could find a bit more natural remedy to cure this small pounding in my head, I'm certain one of the plants in the opera house would make a wonderful concoction, though I doubt it will taste at all delectable. Alas, we can make the most delicious things in the world, but when it comes to sweetening cures for sickness, we are powerless."

Erik gawked at her.

"What is wrong my dearest Erik, are you feeling a bit ill as well?" She said with a look of concern on her face.

"No, no, it's just... I... Will you be wanting to go back to your friends and.. your _lovely little vicompte _once you are better?" he said with a sneer.

"Erik, why would you question me like that, my only lovely little anything is you." And with that she pulled herself from the bed and grabbed Erik, bringing her mouth to meet his.

Erik could do nothing but blink as tears filled his eyes. Christine cupped his left cheek for a moment then brought her other hand up to his mask,

"You do not need this either..." She said while peeling the mask away and flinging it onto the bed, capturing his lips once again with hers.

She let go of him finally to look deeply into his eyes.

"Now if you would kindly tell me Erik, when might these stitches be removed?"

Thus our fair maiden became one of the most intelligent opera singers of her time, Erik performed the first brain surgery, and Raoul spent years upon years trying to figure out who O.G. was only to end up passing away from working his mind too hard.

_So, am I mad? Probably. Was it funny? I hope so, certainly amused me in my boredom. Will you review? I can't answer that one but I will hope with all my Phantom might that it's a yes. I think this turned out to be somehow oddly romantic, would you agree?_


	2. Going Camping!

A/N: -bows over and over- I am so, SO sorry. I ended up being a bit brain dead from school and found that the only time I had to really write was at night, so I kept on writing and then deleting because I wasn't pleased with it. I meant to update the same day as my twin, but it just didn't happen. Now though, here is the next installment in my tales, I hope you find it pleasing after such a long time. The four day weekend has passed, but Erik did join Nade for it.

P.S. Yes, this goes into the world of modern times, I've found them to be quite addicting. Also it nearly made me nauscious writing Christine (she's likable), I miss the little ditz now. I feel kind of bad torturing poor Erik like this, but it does have to happen sometimes.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Calvin Klein's, or Pippy Longstockings, or anything else in the story for that matter.

"Have you got everything you'll need for the weekend?" Meg asked Erik.

"Well, if you would tell me where the damn towels are then I would have everything." Erik pushed at her. For weeks on end he had been shoved into her pool with no means of drying off, and Meg had grown quite used to watching his soaked clothes cling to his well muscled body.

"I'm not about to spoil my fun." Meg replied cheekily.

"Well, what if I catch a cold? Then it would be all your fault and I'd have to sit around doing nothing."

"Oh, you wouldn't be sitting around..." Meg grinned slightly.

Erik arched his brow, "What is that suppose to mean?"

"Well, I couldn't allow you to move about if you were sick. Instead, I'd make sure you stayed in bed and I'd play nurse for you, feeding you, making sure you were entertained, not too mention that since you would be so weak and pathetic you'd need help with bathing..."

Erik's mouth dropped, but just as he was about to respond the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Meg said as she dashed off at full speed.

_That woman is going to give me pnuemonia if given the chance._

Erik went back to packing his bag, he was going camping for the four day weekend, and couldn't wait to have some time to himself, plus the fact he wouldn't find himself flying head first into chlorinated water would be a relief, if only for a little while.

"Hey Erik, how are you doing?" A cheerful voice said from behind.

Erik turned around smiling. "I'm well Christine, just getting the rest of my things together for my trip."

"I see, what all are you going to do there?" She asked as she peered at some of the things he had put out on his bed; A small telescope, his violin, a recording device, a portable dvd player and his usual folder that he kept in case he was inspired to make a new design or costume.

"I was planning on a bit of stargazing and hopefully there'll be some youth groups or college kids that I can spook." He admitted proudly, he had found it was rather enjoyable throwing his voice after listening to a group tell all sorts of haunted tales, one small crying moan in the wind would send even the 'bravest men' into trembling. He had also grown fond of a story about a mad musician, who used the insides of his victims for his strings. He still remembered the screams from one young man and how he had run full force to his tent. Erik couldn't help it if the boy was frightened by the tune he was practicing, now the fact it was the murderer's song...

"You're the most mature guy I know and yet you act like a child at the same time." Christine said while laughing. She stopped abruptly when something caught her nose.

Erik seemed to notice it as well, he turned to locate the source that was taking his precious oxygen and found himself staring straight into a pair of gold eyes.

"Raoul, how nice to... see you." _What on earth is that smell coming from him?_

"Ah, I can tell by the look on your face you've noticed my new cologne, it's Calvin Klein, doesn't it just intoxicate the senses?" He said smugly.

_If you mean by poison, then yes._

"It certainly is, unique, how much did you use, just a small amount?" he lied with every acting skill he could muster.

"Oh, I knew I should have used more than a fourth of the bottle, you really can't smell that much can you?" He said, pouting his lips. Christine rolled her eyes and left the room.

_Don't leave me like this! Help!_ Erik's mind screamed.

"Oh no, it's um, fine." Erik's eyes were beginning to water from the haze that was surrounding Raoul.

"Hey, I know something I could do, how about I get you a free sample? They give me stuff all the time cause you know-" he flipped his hair, Erik nearly gagged. "I'm so hot to the babes working there."

"No, that's quite all right, really."

Raoul frowned for a moment then grinned stupidly.

"I almost forgot, I brought this for you to watch on your trip," He dug into his coat and pulled out a dvd. Erik looked from the movie, then to Raoul, in disbelief.

"Pippy Longstockings?"

"And you better take good care of it! I only have one other copy and darn it all I left it at Christine's house." he said in a fit.

"I'll be sure to keep it safe," _Hmm, I've heard cd's in the microwave make an interesting show._

"Ah, come here buddy, we're all going to miss you while you're gone," He grabbed Erik around the neck and gave him, of all things, a noogie. Numerous thoughts ran through Erik's mind.

_Air! Can't breathe! If I ever meet this Klein man..._

"Excuse me sir, but would you kindly let go of his head?" Meg had returned, and knew any second there could be bloodshed, judging by the look of confusion and fire in Erik's eyes.

Erik gasped for air before looking to Meg with a thank you.

"Raoul, how about you go help Christine in the kitchen, I got some more baking mixes,"

"Ooh! Goody! I do hope there's plenty of fudge!" And he skipped off, leaving Erik and Meg as they originally were.

"I wanted to say-" He eyed her with a smirk.

"Yes?" She looked at him innocently.

"About you playing my nurse." But yet again he was cut off.

"Meg! Get in here!" Christine was yelling.

"No, um, it's ok Meg, we're fine!" Raoul tried to yell over Christine.

"Oh, shut up! He won't give up the batch, he's trying to eat it plain!"

"But it's so good! I don't care if it goes to my hips!"

Meg sighed, Erik groaned.

"You better go help them." Erik said weakly.

"Yeah," She started to make her way for the door. "Erik?"

"Yes Meg?" He looked up to her. She seemed to be playing with something in her mind.

"I hope you like bubbles in your tub." Then she bolted again.

Erik stared blankly, he was really glad that he was going to be alone for a while.

Err, so did you like it or not? I'm still not up to how I want to be, and I didn't bash Monsieur le Fop as much as I had wanted to, I'll have to correct that. One more note, when I say skipped, I mean tra la la skipping. You can't deny that he doesn't even do it in the movie (you just watch how he moves down stairs, no matter what he's doing).


End file.
